







Fun facts
I've produced two children, Paxten and Beckham. They're my best buds.
I'm so social it's dysfunctional. I used to make my parents come with me to switch the basement laundry.
There's a dwarf planet named after me.
My wife shoots a gun better than me.
In kindergarten, I purposefully dropped a crayon to kiss my desk partner. Under the desk.
I can drink a bottle of water faster than gravity.
When my eight-member family moved into Camdenton, Missouri, we increased the population by 3%.
I wear surgically implanted contacts. They inject them behind your cornea. With a needle.
I've cried in front of the United States' Senate.
That's me below cosplaying as a sith. By far the nerdiest thing I've ever done.

Me manipulating the US Senate with my man-tears.